200+ Days Sober have come and gone, who could have predicted that? Certainly not me!
I haven’t blogged for a while, life has thrown shit at me from all directions and time for myself has been scarce to say the least. BUT …. I’m still sober!
I have now coped with trips to and from the hospital with my Mum whose 79 , a very close terminally ill friend, a busy as Xmas period in retail with everyone going nuts as usual, Xmas day lunch was spent at the local emergency clinic with a badly poisoned foot, New Year’s Eve with my foot coming right but not wanting me to take it anywhere, and then on January the 5th another dear friend deciding he’d had enough of this life and left everyone reeling in the aftermath of his decision, and finally his funeral to attend, which was followed of course by the usual ritual of drinking and commiserating with drinking buddies from the past.
I declined the wake, I’d had enough.
And now……..Peace, and time to reflect on 2 crazy, messed up months. But more importantly a time to engage with the present mindfully and plan some positive stuff to look forward to this year.
Did I feel like a drink with all that crap happening? You betcha! Certainly opportunity was there. More than enough reasons to imbibe once again! It would have been so easy to get hammered and to not have to think about anything for a while. Albeit short.
I really don’t know what got me through. Although, when tempted and thinking about drinking, my mind always takes me back to my last ‘drunk’ and the processes that follow the day after. Somehow that last scenario is etched upon my mind and I guess my inbuilt hard drive hits the replay button and because I’m sober I can reason with myself enough to realize that I can’t go back there. Ever.
Don’t get me wrong, my last session with the booze was nothing out of the ordinary for me, no cops or ambulances or violence or any other nasty shit. I just knew that I’d had enough of the deadly roundabout that I was stuck on and crawled off feeling battered and bruised.
Life is hard at times for all of us, but I do believe that it is much easier being sober.
July the 1st will be my 1 Year Sober Anniversary! I’m so going there!